Go the F**k to sleep!

Now I know babies are supposed to be loveable and adorable, but as I hear it (yes I said 'it', I am at that point) wake audibly for the third time tonight, I start to think that perhaps the stories are wrong. Babies are no Nursery Rhyme. No, they are the Brothers Grimm version. On the surface they look like perhaps a nice story, but underneath they end up being an horrific....ehh I don;t know where I'm going with this. Point is Kids suck.

This one in particular has the soul of Satan inside of it, and I for the life of me, can't find an Excorcist, willing to work on a 1 year old apparently angelic looking child. I mean come on! No one believes that it's evil. Gives everyone a toothy smile and then looks at me, and let me tell you, if those sparse teeth don't slowly gain points and the eyes glow a dull (yet very evil) red, then I shall eat my hat (I don't wear hats).

Urgh. Ignore me. I'm just tired. I like to rant. I spend so much time thinking shutupshutupshutup to her.

Theeeeeeeeen I remember days like today. The day she learned not only to play 'Boo' (And reciprocate the gesture) but also to clap her hands as she realises how fricken proud she is of herself. and that we are awesome parents. and that the sky is blue. and clap at pretty much everything that moves. Ugh. Cute bitch. That's how she gets you.


I leave you with this video. If you know what's good or you, you will watch it. It is a song sung by Tim Minchin, and despite his Beetlejuice style head, he is a lyrical genius. listen to the song all the way to the end. Everything is Law. and funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM

like if you give a crap, scroll if you're a bastard

Urgh.

Okay, this is my gripe for today, It may even grind my gears.

It has become the trend of late to post ridiculous images onto facebook with a message printed across it, usually saying something like "Like this in 3 seconds if you love your Mum", or "Like if you think this is cruel, scroll if you support this heinous act" or whatever.

Is no one else annoyed by these? There's no way I'm ever going to click like or comment. It's stupid. Unimaginably so, and yet here it is, judging me. ME. I have many things to be judged for, but not taking the time to click like or scroll or comment or whatever is not one of them. I mean, I could have a really sore clicky finger or something, and only be good at scrolling with the mousewheel, and therefore be unable to express my true opinion on this soulful story to the world. My mother KNOWS I love her, I don't need to like. Everyone with half a conscience feels bad for that poor abused puppy, so why would I be any different?
Stupid pictures.

They sit there. Judging. Watching.     

Waiting.

For when I scroll that one last time, and I unwittingly sentence my mother to a lifetime of...err....unlove.

..and BOOM goes the dynamite.

Hey!! Does anyone remember The Land Before Time? As in, Littlefoot and co. and all the crazy prehistoric adventures? WELL. As shown in the below (or above, I'm never sure where the picture gets loaded to) work of art, is $53.96 worth of dinosaur goodness. Totally effin worth it. In dvd format I recieved 13 full length movies, all of which I grew up with as a kid and have fond memories of going to gran's and she'd have bought the newest one to watch while we visited. If you've never watched the heartache of littlefoots mum dying to the friggen saddest friggen music EVARRR, or gotten countless singalongs stuck in your head from this (weeee runaround-RUNAROUND, in the beautiful vaaalley...), then YOU my friend have missed out.

Even if you were an oldie during tge 90's your kids are so so SO deprived of excellency.

I know this is a boring blog post, but I really don't care

I fucking love dinosaurs

Peace out homies

Fricken tired but finally here.

Look at my sad tired eyes! Finished work and drove a few hrs to the campsite. I usually catch a lift here and even though I'm good with directions, surprise surprise I miss the turnoff in the dark and drive an extra 20mins before surmising I am DEFINITELY not in kansas. Or anywhere I want to be. I turn around drive all the way back and wouldn't you know it, theres big effin reflective signs coming from THIS direction!

Anyways, biggest gripe is the fact that I can do this at all. I turn up and need a light, so being a child of technology, I fire up the appropriate app and BOOM 7 billion twitter tweettweets. Full fuckin signal, and if you ask me, (and you didnt but I will tell you anyway) that pretty much turns camping into notcamping. Even though I love having signal. Damn. Aren't I in a pickle.

This is something I wish SO HARD that I had come up with.

I'm going to take a picture of my son when he is born and use age progression software to figure out what he looks like when he's 18. Then I'm going to frame the picture and hang it in the house so he sees it as he grows up. When eventually realises it's a picture of him, I'm going to try convince him that he's a timetraveller'

If that's not the most awesome idea you've heard all week, then you shouldn't be reading this half-assed blog, because this is for awesome people. You hear? AWESOME PEOPLE

Till we meet again Planeteers.

First order of business

Hey Dudes.

Singlehandedly juggling a new twitter account, an old facebook and email account, while sitting in front of the heater and trying not to tralala along to Seal's 'Kiss from a Rose' on Tv, I decide I should bite the proverbial bullet and eithe open myspace up again, or start a Blog where I can complain to no one and put something in that spot in your twitter profile that says "URL".

So. here I am. Let us establish that not only do none of you like me, I am okay wth that, because until I throw this around in a tweet, none o you actually exist. I've mostly written this badboy up so I can nutter along about random crap that only interests me and also about awesome books that interest everyone.

My point is: STAY TUNED


'Cause I'm badass

Aidan